Errand Day
by Bee.Eh.Vee
Summary: With no urgent cases and Kensi and Sam gone, Callen and Deeks take some time to bolster some aliases. Result? Hetty should really stop letting these two out unattended.
1. Joshua & Nikolas

**Errand Day**

 _With no urgent cases and Kensi and Sam gone, Callen and Deeks take some time to bolster some aliases.  
Result? Hetty should really stop letting these two out unattended._

 **A/N:** I promise I'll return them to those who own them after I'm done.

* * *

Hetty appeared in the bullpen and clasped her hands behind her back. "It seems that there are no pressing disasters today. Do we have a plan for the day?"

Callen gestured toward Kensi's empty chair, "Kensi's gone getting a filling at the dentist."

"It's time for the sugar gnome to pay the piper." Deeks chortled into his cup of coffee.

Sam shook his head. "I'd like to see you say that to her face."

"I did once, almost had to get a tooth of my own fixed." Deeks rubbed at a spot on his jaw while he remembered how his ninja ducking skills had saved him a broken shoulder.

Hetty ducked her head and pursed her lips, "And the rest of you?"

"I was asked to come into the main office and help out with some tactical training." Sam smiled. "They asked if I could play a 'crazed terrorist'. I told them I've had some experiences that could help me get into character."

"Good. Make sure you don't scare anyone into quitting." Hetty nodded her approval. "So that leaves Mr. Callen and Mr. Deeks." She lifted her eyebrows at the two remainders.

"I was hoping to check in on some of my aliases." Callen answered her question easily.

"Me too." Deeks threw in.

"Then the two of you can partner up for the day and watch each other's backs." At their nods, she turned and headed back to her desk.

"Do you need anything?" Callen asked Deeks.

"I should grab a couple things. I think there's at least two I want to step into today."

"I have at least two too. We can see how long they take and go from there."

They separated, each heading to a stash box where they kept odds and ends that helped sell their various covers. They met at the parking lot and once the quick discussion as to who would be driving was completed, they settled into the car for a long day of driving. Deeks started fiddling with the stations and since none of the ones he stopped on bothered Callen, he didn't object. Callen pointed his Mercedes towards their first stop and they were off.

* * *

 _Joshua_

Deeks pointed over at a parking lot. "Stop here, we have to go into the bakery around the corner."

"So what's this alias?" Callen pulled into a spot.

"Joshua, the wedding planner."

Before Callen could get any more information, Deeks was already out of the car and unbuttoning the shirt he was wearing and striping it off revealing the T-shirt he had on underneath. Callen wanted to point out that it was a pretty tight T-shirt, but the words died on his lips after Deeks tied the button-down shirt around his hips grunge-style, lifted his hands up and flopped his hands down loose at the wrists.

He turned to Callen and said, "I like to think of Joshua as Sven's cousin who's spent too much time in Miami." He then proceeded to sashay, yes, Callen decided it was the only word to describe what was happening in front of his eyes, sashay into the bakery.

"Hola, chicas!" A voice that sounded somewhat like Deeks floated out behind him as Callen followed him in. However this voice came from a body that had probably spent too much time in a poolside cabana with party girls and fruity drinks.

"Joshua!" A chorus of voices called back.

"That smells just scrumptious. What is it?" Deeks popped over to the counter and took a big sniff of whatever was cooling on the other side.

Callen fought hard to not react.

"A new cookie recipe – double chocolate brownie with Macadamia nuts. Want one?"

"No…I have to watch my girlish figure." Deeks plopped a hand on his hip.

Callen couldn't do it anymore. To his credit, only his eyebrows popped up.

"I'm here about cake." Deeks moved over to the high table over by what appeared to be the decorating station.

"You are always here about cake." A lady appeared from the back and was wiping her hands on a towel tucked into the waistband of her apron.

"That's because you have the best cake, Maria." Deeks smiled. They kissed on each cheek and then took a seat at the table. "I have a bride."

Maria's eyes flicked over to Callen and she raised an eyebrow, "Oh?"

Callen opened his mouth before Deeks could say anything. "No, not me."

A flicker of disappointment flew through Deeks' eyes, but he rolled with it. "No, it isn't him. No, this bride is divine, her name is Consuela." Deeks pulled out the words and threw in a little sigh. "This is the husband." He waved his hand at Callen. "Come, sit. With Consuela away on a photo shoot it is I and he who must suffer through the onerous task of choosing just a single cake."

Callen decided that he was the type of groom that would silently suffer through the antics of a high-strung wedding planner so he acted accordingly by saying nothing. The first plate of sample cakes landed in front of him and he picked up a fork to try them. He listened as the other two at the table started talking about whipping cream vs. butter cream based icings, real vs. sugar flowers and whether or not stenciled designs lived up to hand painted ones. He found that although he had no knowledge and therefore no opinion, Deeks had both, and a lot of each. As he dug into his second plate he began to wonder where Deeks was picking up all this information. Aside from all of that, he had to admit, this was fantastic cake.

" _Si_. That is what we will do. And which cake do you prefer?"

Callen realized that Maria was talking to him. "Uh. This one." He used his fork to point at a white cake with a filling that was a combination of the lightest whipped cream and real strawberries. "Is there cinnamon in it?"

Maria smiled. "Only the tiniest amount to give a suggestion of the flavour."

"Of course, we will need to give a sample to Consuela as well." Deeks added as he shoveled a bite of the chocolate-mocha cake into his mouth.

"Of course. I will wrap up a second tasting platter." Maria pushed herself away from the table and headed back into the kitchen.

"What happened to watching your 'girlish figure'?" Callen whispered at Deeks.

"Shut up and pass me the carrot cake." Deeks licked his fork and attacked the second plate.

After some pleasantries and such, the partners walked back out of the bakery with Deeks prancing in front and Callen carrying the box of cake. Once they were back at the car Deeks asked Callen to pop the trunk and he nestled the box into a safe place where it wouldn't slide.

"Who's the cake for?"

"Kensi," Deeks slammed the lid. "Any time I go there I pick something up for her. I figured the cake would cheer her up after getting the filling."

"Where did you learn how to walk like that?" Callen stared at his partner across the roof of the car.

With a deadly straight face Deeks monotoned "Legally Blonde." Then he dropped into his seat leaving Callen staring into space while realizing that now he had more questions than answers. He followed suit, but before starting the car he couldn't resist asking one more question.

"Consuela and I are clearly not getting married, what are you going to do about that?"

Deeks shrugged. "In a couple weeks I'll go back in and explain how she realized she couldn't be tied down, especially to an older man, and broke off the engagement. I'll buy some cookies, gossip a bit and then carry on."

"Firstly, I'm not old. And secondly, if you just keep breaking off cake orders, how does this work?"

"Who says I keep breaking off cake orders?"

"You're not actually a wedding planner."

Deeks grinned. "No, but I have accompanied several female patrolmen and detectives as they have chosen their cake for their weddings while in character."

"When are you going to use a wedding planner alias for work?" Callen was slightly concerned and confused.

He shrugged. "Who knows, but for now, I get cake."

Callen thought about that for a moment. "Okay, I get it. Let's keep going."

* * *

 _Nikolas_

The garage Callen pointed the car towards might have been described as 'having great potential' and 'opportunity for increased value' by a real estate agent desperate to sell the listing. Other people would not be as gracious, probably referring to it as 'a dump' or 'has that abandoned look'. Nevertheless, the gate opened without a squeak or protest and Callen drove around to the back. He looped a heavy gold chain around his neck and opened up another button of his shirt. He turned to Deeks and asked him to slick back his hair as best he could. The result was somewhat acceptable, as long as they were gone before it dried.

"What do these guys do?" Deeks had asked on the drive over.

"They have their fingers on the pulse of the Central Asia crime groups."

"What do they think you do?"

"That I happen to be a part of one of the Central Asia crime groups."

"Which one?"

Callen gave him a sideways glance, "We don't talk about it."

Deeks shrugged. "What do you want me to do?"

Callen squinted at him. "Say as little as possible. Look for a van with a side sliding door; if you find one, point it out. But try and stay in sightline. These guys are a jumpy bunch."

"Sure, what are you planning?"

"Possibly kidnap Sam." Callen tipped his head to the side. "Or maybe Eric."

"Cool." Deeks patted down a stray curl and they climbed out of the car.

Callen walked to the open bay and when a loitering man saw Callen he pulled out his phone. Deeks made sure he could see the gathering group and walked along the parked cars that were in varying degrees of disrepair.

When the short, squat leader of the group appeared from inside the building, Callen broke out his best frown. "Karim. You've been quiet lately."

The man snorted. "We are not the kind that like our faces on the evening news."

Which made gathering evidence of their misdeeds that much harder, Callen mused. "Best to let others live in glory for a moment…"

"…Then to come to a _glorious_ end before your time." Karim finished the thought, sneering at the idea that led others to suicide missions. "Who is that?"

Callen turned slightly to catch a glimpse of Deeks while still keeping an eye on the group. "An associate."

"He is not one of yours."

"No, we have a shared problem." Deeks' build and hair would be even harder than his own to pass off as Central Asian. "He comes from Sweden."

Karim made a face. "Sweden, you can't expect me to believe that country has syndicates."

Callen turned a corner of his mouth upward. "How do you think Ikea became so successful; their high-quality long-lasting furniture?"

A moment of silence passed and then the group burst out laughing. When the sound died down, a whistle sounded from the parking lot. They all turned to see Deeks leaning against a van.

"A good choice. Two, three weeks. Bring your own license plates. Payment due upon pick-up." Business complete, the group filtered back into the building leaving the partners alone on the pavement.

Deeks walked up to Callen. "Think that sniper in the upper window's going to shoot me yet?"

Callen smirked. "Not unless he wants to be one screw short on every bookcase he buys for the rest of his life."

The interior of the car muffled Deeks' chuckles as they drove out of the lot.


	2. Shorty & Arnold

**Errand Day**

 **Disclaimer:** Still borrowing.  
 **A/N:** Yes, it is continuing! Thanks to wotumba1, frostfalcon, Sprig, TarIsBlack, Hoosier65, Caro0909, Guest M, jmlane1966, cbetham, shestarsky, TMVH50, The Ghostly Horse, 5 Guests, Prue, fanficforyou, meraveps, enji-benjy, mocha mocha doll, and knirbenrots for the reviews! I promise chaos shall come in return for all your lovely words, but first, this…

* * *

 _Shorty_

Deeks guided Callen to an office building but was becoming increasingly quiet as they got closer. Callen worked his jaw, wondering where the frivolity of earlier had gone and whether he should break the quiet. His decision was made when he put the car into park, but Deeks beat him to it.

"Inside this building is a parole officer that, according to a credible witness, is blackmailing parolees into forming for-hire crews." Deeks chewed on his lip. "That's a new level of low, forcing people who're just out of jail back into crime so he can profit." He leaned over to grab a sweater/jacket combo and slipped it on. "If anyone asks, and someone most likely will, you're my sponsor."

Callen furrowed his brow. "What's your plan? Bait him into forcing you onto one of his crews?" At Deeks' nod, he continued. "Wouldn't he leave you alone if you're straightening out?"

Deeks huffed. "More of an improvement means more to lose. This guy's evil and I will slap cuffs on him." He picked at his finger and his next words came out quiet. "I made a promise."

Callen grabbed a pair of fake glasses out of the console and put them on. "Then let's go trap a rat."

The elevator ride to the right floor was also quiet. Deeks shoved his hands deep into his pants pocket and hunched over. When they reached the office, he nodded towards the waiting room and trudged over to a door where he knocked. A muffled 'come in' sounded and he went through the door. Callen caught a glance of someone sitting behind the desk and once the door was shut he found a chair to drop into. A few moments later that same door opened and the man behind the desk came out. He walked up to Callen and cleared his throat.

"I hear you're Shorty's sponsor. What for?"

Callen narrowed his eyes. "The 'A' stands for anonymous for a reason."

"Hmm, right." He shrugged and walked away. A file drawer slammed and he strode past carrying a file.

Deeks was looking over his shoulder when the office door opened again and Callen gave him a quick nod. He sat there for a while, thinking about everything and nothing until Deeks appeared in front of him. He jerked his head towards the elevator and they went back down to the car. Callen pulled out and found a parking lot down the road to find out how it went.

"So?"

Deeks broke into a scowl. "He's found 'evidence' that my alias knocked over a pawn shop on the 17th. He says I have to bring him $10,000 or he'll hand in what he has and get me sent back to jail."

Callen frowned. "We were down in San Diego on that day."

"Exactly."

With a contemplative purse of his lips, Callen asked "I wonder what charges we could put on him." He tipped his head. "Hetty might have some petty cash."

Deeks shook his head. "I have to wear a camera while I'm doing it to prove it's legit. Plus it'll give him more blackmail material." He grunted. "I think he's working with a cop and someone in the parole system to send the right people his way. I don't know who to turn him in to."

"The feds." Callen rubbed his chin. "And I happen to know a team of them who would be available to help." He gave Deeks' shoulder a shove. "Taking down criminals is kind of our thing."

"I think we have the beginning of a beautiful plan," Deeks said with a grin. "On to the next alias."

* * *

 _Arnold_

Deeks followed Callen towards the entrance of a medical building. Just short of the doors Callen stopped and nudged Deeks near the greenery. He dropped his head and said quietly, "Deeks, I need you to be my friend."

Deeks blinked. "I thought I was, I mean we work together but we've also had some good times after…"

Callen cut him off. "No, I mean I need you to be my alias's friend." He stood up straight and squinted at Deeks. "You are my friend. Hmm. This went in a weird direction."

Nodding his head dislodged his hair and sent a spiral bouncing. "Yes it did." He barked a laugh, "What was that Hetty yelled at us through the comms last week, something about bad communication?"

Callen shrugged. "I wasn't listening."

They smirked at each other. "What kind of friend am I being?"

"Arnold's a hypochondriac who gives me reasons to visit a doctor in this building. He's a CI of mine who's been good at pointing me towards doctors who'll do after-hours surgery for those that pay. I got a message he's added another one to the list and I want to pick up the information. I want to check to make sure his support staff aren't selling him out since he's been helpful in taking down some big players."

"Surveillance on cute nurses? On it." Deeks grinned.

They took the elevator to the right floor and Callen led the way to the office just as Callen pulled the door open, Deeks said "I'm sure it's just a mole."

Callen carried on with the cue. "I don't think so, it looks weird."

Deeks turned up a corner of his mouth, "Maybe it's a weird mole."

The receptionist gave a tired smile. "Arnold. You're back." There was a lack of enthusiasm that she didn't attempt to hide.

"Yes, I have an appointment." Callen tapped the computer monitor.

"I know that." She clicked her mouse. "They'll call you back when it's your turn. Take a seat." The last sentence was said with some force, which made sense because Callen didn't make a move and opened his mouth.

Deeks pulled on his arm and pointed him towards a chair. He gave a nod of his head to the receptionist whose smile became a little less tired and a bit more genuine.

When the nurse came out, he sighed and called out for Callen. As he went past him, he rolled his eyes. Deeks couldn't resist and called out, "While you're in there, get your cholesterol checked. Your mom's worried." He saw Callen's shoulders rise in what was probably caused by a grunt. He smirked and leaned back in his chair.

When the magazines held no more interest, which took a short amount of time due to being extremely out of date, Deeks decided it was time to do some reconnaissance. He sauntered over to the receptionist and leaned on the counter.

"So, he comes here often?" He asked with a half grin.

She sighed. "Yeah, always with some sort of emergency ailment that means I have to book him in the soonest possible appointment." She furrowed her brow at Deeks, "How did you end up coming along?"

Deeks shrugged a shoulder. "I owed him a favour." He paused. "Is he really that annoying?"

It was the receptionist's turn to shrug. "I just get frustrated at the last-minute phone calls. It doesn't bother me past that." Her eyes skidded around the room. "The one nurse, however, loves it when he comes in because she thinks he's hot. The other nurse gets annoyed because he thinks it's a waste of the doctor's time." She dropped her voice, "I think he's a bit overprotective." She smiled, "Our accountant likes seeing his name on the charts because it's more money into the practice."

Deeks nodded along with her monologue, enjoying that he'd succeeded in gathering the intel Callen was looking for. The two chatted back and forth until a door opened down the hall and Callen emerged. When he was closer, Deeks asked, "How're you doing, buddy?"

Callen frowned. "The doc says it's fine. But I can come in again if it grows." He brightened at the end.

"Alright," Deeks threw and arm over his shoulder, "How about we get you some ice cream." He felt the heat from Callen's glare meant only for him as they walked to the door. "I know this great spot by the beach." He winked at the receptionist as he closed the door behind them.

After they were back in the car Callen tapped on his shirt pocket. "The doctor came through again. Do we have to worry about any of his staff?"

Deeks relayed what he had learned. "I think you should be okay, but maybe Nell should run some background checks just to be safe."

Callen nodded his agreement. "Now, what was this you said about ice cream?"

A grin popped onto Deeks' face. "Go west, young man!"


	3. Jerry

**Errand Day**

 **Disclaimer:** Borrowing still.  
 **A/N:** Aaand we're back. Thanks to jmlane1966, lyndzwaterfall, db1205, The Ghostly Horse, OhBuddy66, Hoosier65, Sprig, wotumba1, yellowcalllalilly, TheAlphabetSong, knirbenrots, Beststoriesever, AinsleyWright, Guest #1, Guest #2, Thaddeus MacChuzzlewit, Caro0909, fanficforyou, and meraveps for your lovely reviews (reading them causes random outbursts of grinning).

* * *

 _Jerry_

Callen pulled the car into a space and watched as Deeks shrugged out of his T-shirt and then looped his arms through his button down. He considered the front of the shirt and then did up one button midway. Callen thought for a moment and then traded his shirt for a T-shirt. He popped the trunk and dug a plain baseball cap out from his tactical bag. When he turned out of the trunk he peered down at Deeks' feet.

"You're not seriously going to walk around barefoot, are you?" Callen's eyebrows knitted together.

Deeks scoffed. "What, are your delicate feet too sensitive to take on some concrete?"

"No, but they definitely won't like that sharp rock you're about to…"

A hiss came from between Deeks' teeth as he set his foot down on a particularly pointy stone. He lifted his foot and peered down before putting it to the ground again. "That spiny piece aside, I can't be wandering around in this area in socks and shoes. They'll think I got some massive head trauma, or on my way to court, or worse…got a real job." He shuddered at the last one.

Callen squinted. "You have a real job. We are working right now."

Deeks smirked. "Marty may be steadily employed but Jerry's a free-wheeling beach bum who lost his flip flops somewhere last night." He jerked his head towards the sidewalk. "It's unfortunate, they were his favourite pair."

"Should I ask where Jerry lost these shoes?"

Deeks hitched a shoulder up. "Probably involved a girl, a window, and a drain pipe. Can't climb in those things – no grip."

Callen shook his head. "It's true, you'd just be asking for rose thorns in the back."

"Please tell me that wisdom is from experience." Deeks clasped his hands together and widened his eyes.

"Not telling. You'll just have to decide for yourself."

Deeks was tapping a finger on his chin as he pushed a bead curtain to the side and entered a small surf shop. "Hova!"

A short, slight man with blond dreads waved from the counter. "Jerry! Wha's hangin'?"

"Later'll be ten toes." Deeks slapped the offered hand and pointed down to his feet. "Slight prob."

Hova leaned over to see where Deeks was pointing. "I gotcha, bro." He reached under and dropped a pair of flip flops on the counter. "I keep a supply of your favs."

"Hey cuz, you want a pair?" Deeks twisted to face Callen.

Callen scanned the crammed building and tried to ignore the stuffed iguana that was almost licking his ear. "Do I need one?"

Deeks nodded. "You come here from the great white north, you gotta have a reminder of our sunny days. Even if you'll only wear 'em for a week."

Callen rolled his eyes. "We do have summer."

"I've been there during your 'summer'" Deeks hooked his fingers around the word, "that's no summer – weak sun and no beaches."

"You could come up in January." Callen shot back.

Deeks shivered and clutched his flip flops to his chest. "And have to wear boots?" He spat the last word out.

Callen shook his head with a sad smile. "I'll take a pair."

Hova dropped his size on the counter. At Callen's confused look, he said "I have a gift. Want a suit too?" He held up a swim suit covered in brightly coloured fish.

"Nah, the shoes are enough." Callen paid for both pairs and turned to Deeks, "My treat."

Deeks slipped his on and promised Hova he wouldn't be a stranger. They headed out of the store and Deeks led the way towards a hut perched at the edge of the boardwalk. They took their place at the end of a line that snaked around a surfboard storage rack.

"You were serious about wanting that ice cream, right?" Deeks leaned over to whisper the question.

"I won't tell if you won't." Callen let a grin slide across his face.

A picnic table cleared just as they were stepping away from the counter and they plopped down on opposite benches. They were both quiet for the first few moments, each working to stop any melted bits from dropping off the cones. Deeks slurped away at his strawberry while Callen crunched at the nut pieces in his maple walnut.

"This is nice." Deeks grinned, "I don't have to protect mine from the sugar gnome."

"And I don't have a nagging voice telling me that this isn't a balanced and nutritious lunch."

They sat and contemplated that while eating further.

"We should do this more often." Callen bit into his cone. "I know this great breakfast place."

"I could get behind that idea." Deeks crunched.

The view was nice and they sat quietly as people flowed around them on the neighbouring boardwalk. People-watching became the topic of conversation. The ice cream disappeared and they settled in for a short break. Then, Callen perked up and pulled out his phone, dialing a number, and waiting with his lower lip caught in his teeth.

"Hi, Hetty?" Callen winked at Deeks. "Yeah, we're going to need some money, a jewelry store to rob, a quiet street with no cameras, and Eric…I don't know, make it an even $15,000…Of course this is for a case." He huffed and handed the phone to Deeks, "She wants to talk to you."

"Hello?" Deeks asked tentatively.

"Mr. Deeks. I sent the two of you out to bolster some covers. When did you start planning this operation?" Hetty's voice gave nothing away, so Deeks didn't know if she was happy or annoyed.

He decided to go with the truth. "There's this crooked parole officer."

He could feel Hetty eyes drilling into him through the phone. "Everybody comes back in one piece at the end of the night. No gallivanting off into the sunset due to an off-the-cuff plan."

"This should be a simple job." He tried to sort out what was happening. "Why are you telling me this?"

"Because Mr. Callen has developed a bad habit of not listening to me. I will hold you responsible for any deviations."

"Does that mean this is a go?"

"You have my permission."

Deeks hung up the phone after saying goodbye. He grinned at Callen. "We're a go." The smile fell, "but if we decide to go off-book or add anything to the plan that she doesn't know about prior, I'm getting in trouble."

Callen smiled. "That's because you're still scared of her. I'm not. It'll be fine, just make sure she never finds out."

"I can't believe I'm the good kid in this family." Deeks grumbled as he glared at Callen.

A shout sounded in the distance and they both sat up straighter as the indistinct yelling came close enough to make out words.

" _Stop! Police!_ "

Callen looked over Deeks shoulder and tracked the foot chase. "Why do they always run?" He asked, resigned.

Deeks tugged up the corner of his mouth. "Tell me when."

The runner struggled through the crowd as the cop pushed past those thrown in his way.

"20 feet." Callen paused. "He'll be right beside you in 3…2…"

Deeks pushed off the bench and stepped onto the wood planks in perfect time to collide with the runner. They lifted into the air and then landed on the ground in a heap. The cop ran up behind and hauled his prey out of the pile, pushing him against the picnic table and pulling out his cuffs. He hauled in a giant breath and reamed off the man's rights. Once he was finished he looked up at Callen who'd pushed over to the other side of the table and was pointing down to the ground.

"Are you okay, sir?"

Deeks held up a thumbs up from where he still lay on the ground. "I'll be fine."

"Thank you for your help."

"Any time." Deeks pushed out, as though he was attempting to cover up some pain.

Callen waited and then said "They're gone."

Deeks picked himself up off the ground. "That was fun. Where are we going next?"

Callen squinted. "I have a spot."

"Great. I might need new pants." He attempted to brush away some dirt.

"Maybe not. I have an idea."

Deeks rolled his eyes. "Oh boy, not another one. This one better not get me in trouble too."

Callen scoffed. "Break out your sense of adventure."

"Sure. It's all fun and games until someone gets fired."


	4. (K)Nick(ed)

**Errand Day**

 **Disclaimer:** 2 Borrowing 2 still.  
 **A/N:** Thanks to sassyzazzi, jmlane1966, Caro0909, jimmer, db1205, OhBuddy66, The Ghostly Horse, wotumba1, KatieinSyd, knirbenrots, meraveps, Guest, astride, BloodyHell, Guest, yellowcallalilly, fanficforyou, Hoosier65, and Guest for the reviews!

* * *

 _(K)Nick(ed)_

Callen had warned Deeks that it was going to be a bit of a drive, but he may have underestimated. Trying to get out of the city was a normally a chore but today seemed to be especially congested. Once they passed the outskirts, Callen had Deeks pull out the map in the glove compartment. GPS's had a habit of cutting out in the hills where they were headed.

"You're not taking me to some sort of cult, are you?" Deeks had asked after he found the asterisk marked on the map.

"They just like their privacy." Callen had answered.

"Uhh…" Deeks steadied a hand against the dashboard and turned to face the driver. "Not helping."

Callen nodded. "They're furniture builders. Lots of noise and sawdust. They also do some back-to-nature style with the fallen trees in the woods around them."

Deeks' eyes narrowed. "Who are you to them?"

"Accountant."

Deeks pushed at the bridge of his nose with his fingers. "Why."

"Well, they tend to make a lot of custom furniture" he paused "in which they tend to smuggle things. I'm more interested in the people they're smuggling for than them."

"How did you find them?" Deeks asked, this trip making more sense.

"Ran into one of their products. Decided to ask questions without making a lot of noise about who I actually was."

They rode in silence for a time, Deeks calling out turns when he saw them.

"You don't actually do their books, do you?" The thought occurred to Deeks midway down a long hill.

"I have a CI for that. He's actually quite good."

Deeks nodded. "What do you want me to do?"

Callen waited to answer until they got around the next corner. "Contractor. I've been telling them I want to do some work on my house. We can tell them we're planning some built-in units. There's a package of papers in the trunk I have to deliver. It's their tax return from last year."

Deeks watched scrub brush flow by. "You deliver it by hand? Have they never heard of email or actual mail?"

"They aren't exactly trusting folk."

Deeks sighed. "We are visiting a cult."

* * *

"That was weird." Deeks shook as though a shiver ran down his back.

Callen bit his tongue and tried not to laugh. "You didn't help matters by calling them Gandalf and Dumbledore."

Deeks stared at him with wide eyes. "I've never seen beards that long." He continued staring. "And what was with the lack of blinking from that one guy?"

"That's Merle. I think he's sipped a little too much sealant."

"More like the moonshine from the still out back." Deeks muttered.

"Yeah, they should probably hide that better." Callen agreed. He pushed the accelerator, hoping to reach the city limits before dark.

They chatted about everything and nothing, Deeks helping to find the streets and turns as dusk set in. It was too late to go back to the office by the time they were in the area so they instead hit up a local spot for dinner. When Callen was mid-way through his dish of pasta, his phone chirped.

"Hmm. How do you feel about hitting up a club tonight?"

Deeks shrugged. "Anywhere I know?" When Callen read off the name Deeks smiled, "It's a good spot. Do you have a way in?"

Callen thumbed his phone's screen off. "Those weren't my only accounting clients. There's another group you may be familiar with." He lowered his voice and mentioned a well-known crime family that was begrudgingly termed 'untouchable' due to many failed attempts.

Deeks squinted. "You're not taking a run at them, are you?"

Callen shook his head. "An investigation led me into their ranks. I'm just watching and waiting."

"We both need to clean up if we're going there." Deeks went at his dinner again. Then he paused, grinned at Callen, and said "And by the way, what you're doing? It's called lurking. You lurker."

* * *

"Nick Solomon."

Callen finished his drink and turned at the name. "Yeah?" He bumped Deeks who was laughing along with the others crowded into a VIP booth after he finished telling a joke. He found a stern faced man in an ill-fitting suit glaring at him.

"I need you to come with me." The stern man spoke again.

Deeks moved in his chair to peer at Callen's visitor. The group around them quieted to watch the exchange as well.

"We're having a good time here, can this wait?" Callen tried to play off the guy and send him on his way.

"I'm afraid it can't. You're under arrest." The man flashed a badge and pulled out handcuffs. He jerked his head at two men standing behind him.

"Woah, slow down here. Under what charge?" Deeks voice came over Callen's shoulder.

"Fraud." He paused and flicked his gaze to Deeks. "Who are you?"

Deeks only paused for a moment. "His lawyer." He added the name of his lawyer alias.

The man scoffed. "I hope you checked his payment; your client is a con man."

Silence thundered in the booth in spite of the music rocking the building. Callen carefully swallowed a retort. Better to let this booth of dangerous men think him a fake than a cop.

One of the men hanging behind spoke into the leader's ear. His expression became even more dour. He drilled Deeks with a glare. "You're under arrest as well." He huffed. "To me, lawyers are only a step away from being con men too, so it's no surprise you tried that cover." He waved them off the platform and slapped cuffs as soon as they were close enough.

"Careful on the amount of force you use there." Deeks griped at the man who pushed him against the wall.

Callen peeked up at the group still sitting on the couches. They had turned away and were doing their best at distancing themselves from the situation happening a few steps below. The leader pointed his chin at the door and his back-up each grabbed one and hauled them towards the door of the club. People had to be moved and it turned a short trip into work for the agents. Callen didn't help the situation any, making his captor pull him along. He was using this time to sort out a plan or defense. He realized he didn't even know what agency had just arrested them. He couldn't see Deeks and hoped he had a better idea of what was happening.

Finally they made it to the door and the fresh air blasted them in the face. There was a heated whispered conversation behind them and then they were both shoved into the back of an unmarked government vehicle. The doors were slammed and the three agents moved to the front of the car to continue their argument.

Deeks shifted beside Callen, "They only planned on arresting one person." At Callen's raised eyebrow, visible from the neon lights shining off the front of the building, Deeks explained. "Only one car and three agents – that ringleader planned on sitting in the back and interrogating you all the way back to the office."

Callen hadn't thought about that. "Who are they?"

"My guess, Treasury." Deeks shifted again. "Fraud is kind of their thing."

Callen let his head fall back. "No, it's the IRS. They asked for Nick Solomon – the accountant."

Deeks shrugged. "Maybe it's joint. That guy's on the phone right now, and he looks like he can't get a word in."

"Great, nothing better than having an arresting agent who's on the wrong end of an ass-chewing." Callen frowned.

Deeks pushed himself around on the seat. "We need a lawyer."

"I'm working on it." Callen bit the inside of his lip and watched Deeks moving. "Would you stop squirming?"

He scowled, "I forgot how uncomfortable these things are."


	5. Watson

**Errand Day**

 **Disclaimer:** Still borrowing.  
 **A/N:** db1205, TMVH50, TarIsBlack, cbetham, yellowcallalilly, meraveps, wotumba1, Morganluvr, sassyzazzi, Caro0909, The Ghostly Horse, Guest, Astrida, Guest, knirbenrots, karlikat, OhBuddy66, Guest, Hoosier65, I Feel Possessed, and Mmamarie.

* * *

 _Watson_

The car ride was completed in silence, Deeks and Callen refusing to say anything despite questions of the lead agent early in the trip. The third agent was left behind after much debate, presumably to find his own way back. They pulled in by a darkened building where the lead agent and his one sidekick walked the still cuffed Callen and Deeks into a back door by the loading dock. They made their way through a hallway lit only by emergency lights until the lead agent knocked on a door. When it opened, everyone was momentarily blinded by the light. Callen squinted, trying to make out the room they were in. He was tugged along until a lady bustled over and whispered into the lead agent's ear.

"How did his lawyer beat us here?" The agent hissed. "I thought we arrested his so-called lawyer." He ground out a frustrated grunt in Deeks' direction. "Put that one in Room B. I'm taking this one to Room A."

"What about the lawyer?" The woman asked.

He grimaced through clenched teeth, "I haven't heard him ask for one."

Callen stood a bit straighter. "I'd like my lawyer."

The man grunted again. He shoved him through the cubicles to a small room in the back where Callen was deposited at a table and told not to move. Not a difficult order to follow considering his hands were still cuffed behind his back. He waited and stared at the ceiling, trying to come up with some sort of plan. Also a source of concern, who was the lawyer waiting for him?

* * *

Deeks had a somewhat gentler walk to his room; the sidekick agent moved him along with tugs to his arm. The pace was slow as Deeks tried to stall to find out who the waiting lawyer was. His mind raced as he tried to sort out the possibilities. Could it be a trap? Could it be someone from the club who was an ambulance-chaser-style lawyer and saw an opportunity to cash in? Could it be…Hetty? They all joked that she was all knowing and scary good at showing up at the most opportune, or inopportune depending on how you looked at it, time. Most importantly, how did this mystery lawyer know which office to go to? Deeks still hadn't figured that one out – who had arrested them? Clearly they were a federal agency based on the suits, unmarked vehicle, and the lack of 24-hour operation. The agents involved in the case were also ones that neither he nor Callen had previously crossed paths with.

Deeks shifted in his chair, trying to find that sweet spot where his wrists, arms, and back didn't ache from their locked position. It wasn't the first time he'd been handcuffed in a chair in his career and considering the genre of undercover work he gravitated towards, it wouldn't be his last. He scrolled through the characters he and Callen had played today. They had walked the legal side of the line more than he had expected. He hitched an eyebrow up in surprise but it quickly dropped when the door opened and the sidekick stuck his head in.

"You can't keep me in here like this." Deeks said as the door was shutting.

"Yes we can" was the reply.

"Actually…" Deeks reamed off some legal jargon and watched as the man's self-assured smile fell slightly. The sidekick swallowed and then quickly shut the door. Deeks let the corner of his mouth curl upwards. An official business card wouldn't have been as effective as what he just did. He imagined the agents huddled around in a cubicle double-checking the specific law he just cited. Suddenly he was feeling more comfortable.

* * *

Callen's question was finally answered when the agent came barreling through the door, almost shutting it on a man who was coming in behind him. All it took was one look to confirm his highest ranked suspicion, and to be honest, he sighed a silent sigh of relief because the other option would've been much worse.

The man who pulled a chair over to Callen's side of the table was wearing a suit that screamed wealth and success. Callen guessed it cost more than a year's salary of the agent glowering at them from the other side of the table. This lawyer was sent by the same people he was schmoozing with less than an hour ago. Probably to ensure Callen didn't spill anything on their business. Callen had to be careful.

"Now, Nick." The agent sneered out his alias's name. "I have you cornered."

Callen stared at the man. "Who are you?"

"That doesn't matter."

The lawyer cleared his throat. "In fact, it does." His voice was like caramel, but his tone was serious.

"Special Agent Watson of the Internal Revenue Service, criminal investigation branch." He grew a bit taller at that.

"Where's Holmes?" Callen snickered.

"You seem pretty blasé for a man who does the taxes of criminals." Watson shot back.

"I advise you not to say anything." Callen heard beside him, warning deeply layered in those words.

"Oh, I have proof." Watson dropped a file on the table. "Yeah, I know you've been hiding cash transactions." He pulled out a paper and held it up, "Their transactions!"

Callen's jaw dropped. He was staring at a picture of Dumbledore, Gandalf, and Merle. The furniture builders that he and Deeks had visited earlier. "Them?" Callen couldn't stop himself, he had to ask. The lawyer beside him shifted his weight.

"Yes. And they'll be going down with you." Watson gave a triumphant smile. "Would've been sooner if wasn't for some rinky-dink army cops hadn't kept getting in my way."

Rinky-dink.

Army.

Cops.

If Callen wasn't trying to keep his cover with that crime syndicate, he would've given Watson a piece of his mind. Instead, he kept his mouth shut and fumed. Callen had a plan to flip those three for a bigger catch which was why he'd had to let the tax evasion slide until he had enough to scare them into dishing on the others. He knew there had been an IRS agent sniffing around but he didn't realize he'd gotten this far.

A knock came at the door, interrupting Callen's racing mind. Watson gave a shoo-ing motion to the door but it opened anyway. "Sir, you need to see this." The lady gestured for Watson to follow. He flicked a hand at her again. She gave a quick look to Callen's side of the table and strode to Watson's side despite his glower. She whispered, but in the silence of the room, Callen heard every word.

"If you don't deal with this we're all getting fired."

With an annoyed glare at Callen, Watson stomped out of the room.


	6. Mom

**Errand Day**

 **Disclaimer:** Still & borrowing.  
 **A/N:** Thanks to Sweet Lu, slaygurl, The Ghostly Horse, jmlane1966, Caro0909, wotuma1, meraveps, OhBuddy66, knirbenrots, Kittykatkins, sassyzazzi, Guest, Guest, and Violet Eternity for the reviews! (Last chapter's A/N was supposed to say the same thing, but apparently I missed it in my hurrying to post!)

* * *

 _Mom_

Deeks was staring at the wall. A boring wall. A wall that was bordered by another boring wall. Which was attached to a third boring wall. It cornered with a wall that had a door, but was still boring. Deeks was sitting in a boring chair in front of a boring table that had another boring chair on the other side.

He was bored.

The door opened and he found himself staring at a boring man. An angry boring man. The angry boring man that arrested him.

The boring angry arresting man looked borderline irate. "Turns out you were not lying. You are in fact who you say you are." He waved at him to stand up.

Deeks complied and his handcuffs were removed. He rubbed at his wrists and followed the man into the main room. "I'd like to see him now." Deeks pointed at the room where Callen was stashed.

"He's already got one lawyer, I don't have to let him have two."

Deeks narrowed his eyes. "Oh yeah?"

The door slamming behind him was definitive answer: he wasn't getting in the room with Callen. Deeks' shoulders dropped and he plodded over to the chair – on the other side of the table this time where he could see the door – and sat down. He'd tried every argument he could come up with but Agent Watson wasn't going to budge. As soon as he found out that Deeks was in fact a lawyer Watson had been slightly less combative but he was holding his ground. Deeks had pushed too far and Watson had responded by throwing him back in the interview room. The nervous woman fiddling with a file folder in hands had hastily whispered in Watson's ear after he banished him. This was followed by Watson grinding out a speech about how Deeks was not being held, the door would be unlocked, that this was standard procedure to protect the classified material stored in the office space, and that he was welcome to stay there while he was waiting. Realizing any arguing wouldn't help his case, Deeks had complied and went back to his boring room.

He quietly thanked Eric for his superb skill at backstopping aliases as he settled into his chair. His mind wandered back to gnawing on the problem he'd been working before he was released from the cuffs. Watson was clearly an agent on a mission to close this case at any costs. Deeks recognized the laser focus, but he didn't necessarily applaud it. Especially since it was pointed directly at his partner and Hetty had clearly stated they were not to get into trouble today. He checked his watch to see if they were lucky enough to be past 12 and therefore into the next day. They were not. Maybe she'd never find out? Deeks sighed, knowing the answer to that question.

He stood up and paced the room, trying to work out an escape plan without causing more trouble. He thought he may have an ally in the lady that had hauled Watson out of the interrogation. She appeared to be more scared of tanking her career by riling a possibly litigious lawyer than of Watson.

* * *

Callen and the lawyer leaned together as soon as Watson left.

"Marco sends his regards." The lawyer whispered. He covered his mouth with a pad of paper, effectively shielding his lips from any cameras and muffling his voice for any microphones.

Callen nodded, Marco was the family cleaner. It didn't surprise him that he was paying the fancy suit's tab for this late night excursion. "Well, this clearly has nothing to do with them, are you leaving?" He matched the lawyer's tone and volume.

The lawyer shook his head. "It's good to know who might be sniffing around the business. I'll stay."

Callen fought the urge to swallow. He was sniffing around their business. On the other hand, if he impressed the lawyer, he may find his way deeper into the organization. That would be helpful.

They sat and waited until Watson came back in. "Here's the deal," he said after he dropped back into the chair. "I have enough to charge you. Roll over on the whole operation and I won't charge your brother as an accessory. Criminal charges don't look good on a lawyer's record."

"My brother?" Callen's eyes tightened.

* * *

"Hey Eric, can you do your two older brothers a favour and come pick us up?" Deeks asked into his phone that had been returned to him. It had taken some 'psst-ing' to get the woman to scoot over to the door, but she'd come nonetheless. Deeks made his case about being held without his personal effects and she'd quickly gathered his things and returned them. He'd also checked that there were no recording devices running. She'd assured him that his rights were not in any way being violated. He decided to be a pessimist and take precautions anyway.

"Um…" Eric sounded uneasy. "Now's not really a good time."

"Do I need to remind you about the various times we've _helped_ you?" Deeks leaned into the word, wanting him to get the hint that this was serious.

Eric coughed. "I guess I may owe you one." His tone turned a bit hopeful.

"We're at the IRS and we need a lift back to Nick's car."

"You are where?" As soon as Deeks heard Hetty's voice, he knew they were in trouble. He resisted the urge to smack his own head.

* * *

Watson grinned as he waved his evidence in front of them. "Oh yeah, he was telling me this long sob story about how you two are step-brothers. Don't you want to protect him?"

The lawyer had gotten a hold of the papers. "These are all circumstantial. Can you even prove my client had knowledge of these acts?"

"What?" Watson's focus was pulled away from Callen and looked befuddled, being on the other end of the questions. "Yes, I can prove everything."

"We'll see about that. Are you charging my client?" The lawyer straightened his tie, calm as ever.

"Not now." Watson said slowly. "But I will!"

"Then we'll be leaving. Please uncuff my client."

Watson's face was stormy but he complied. Callen held back a grin as they exited. The lawyer and Callen met up with Deeks who had a funny look on his face.

"Mom's waiting in the lobby, they won't let her come any further." Deeks eyes were wide and he was sweating.

"You called Mom?" Callen's voice got a bit squeezed.

"No I didn't call her." Deeks ground out. "I called our little brother who was playing Halo and eating licorice in Mom's formal parlour. Guess who found him."

Callen rubbed his forehead. "Mom."

"Mm-hmm." Deeks was getting a bit wild-eyed.

"I take it you don't need a ride?" The lawyer asked mildly.

"No, thanks. We'll be fine." Callen replied.

"Or dead." Deeks muttered.

"Don't worry about this, I'll have it thrown out before they try to arrest you again. The case is flimsy at best." With that, the lawyer left.

"Come on. Let's go explain this to Mom."

"Yay." Deeks looked as excited as a kid going to the dentist to have a cavity filled.

Hetty met them at the door. "Gentlemen. Let's talk." With that she walked to the car waiting outside. Deeks and Callen exchanged a glance, and then followed.


	7. D'Angelo

**Errand Day**

 **Disclaimer:** Still and borrowing.  
 **A/N I:** I apologize for the tardiness of this chapter; it seemed like everyone and everything was conspiring to keep me away from my laptop. The good news is we've been reunited and the next person that interrupts will get some object on the desk thrown at them. (Will it be a pen? The paperweight? Or the napkin with notes scribbled on it? It's office supply roulette.)  
 **A/N II:** Thank you to db1205, Sprig, kaaw, Sweet Lu, cbtham, Caro0909, wotumba1, The Ghostly Horse, OhBuddy66, jmlane1966, sassyzazzi, happyherb18, Kittykatkins, meraveps, 2 Guests, Asrida, another Guest, Beststoriesever, knirbenrots, Hoosier65, Guest, fanficforyou, and Mei2 for the reviews!

* * *

 **D'Angelo**

Deeks shuffled out behind Callen, sparing a quick glance back to the empty lobby. The day had been a long one and he was tired. A solid shake of his head woke him up some, and his eyes tightened as he calculated Callen's trajectory towards Hetty's car where it waited at the curb. He sped up slightly and managed to deke around Callen to reach the back driver side door first. He grabbed at the handle, his hand slipping on the first try and lifting the latch on the second. He opened the door enough to slide through and plopped down on the seat. He revelled in his success until the door didn't close and Callen pushed him over. Deeks growled but slid across the seat to sit behind the front passenger seat. He looked over to see Callen grinning at his success nabbing the seat behind Hetty, where she couldn't see him.

They sank down into their spots and waited as Hetty, who hadn't changed her pace, finally reached the car and stepped into her seat. She pursed her lips as she eyed Deeks in the rear view mirror for a moment, then started the car with a push of a button. She smoothly pulled out onto the road and focussed on driving.

Silence can be soothing; nothing but calm air, undisturbed by sounds, leaning into the stillness. Silence can be exciting and full of anticipation – that pregnant pause right before a rush of sound and exhilaration.

This was neither of those types of silence. This quiet started in the front of the vehicle and surged to the back, crashing into the window and roiling in the backseat. It moved like a wave, building with each pass until it took on a life of its own. Breaking seemed to be too difficult a chore and the thought of trying sucked moisture from mouths.

Callen closed his eyes and Deeks widened his. Hetty continued to drive, taking turns and moving through intersections, seemingly unaffected by the deafening muteness. The tinting of the windows combined with the shadows outside hid Hetty's destination until they reached familiar territory. Deeks shifted in his seat and Callen lifted a lid. They both peered out the driver's side and exchanged a glance. Why were they going to one of the safe houses when their vehicles were at the office?

Hetty parked with the same deliberate focus as the rest of the drive. She waited until they had climbed out before beeping the locks. The house was well-kept and the sidewalk leading upwards was smooth. Still Deeks paused and tapped his foot against the small crack that was forming. The others realized he'd stopped and both turned around to look at him.

"I'm sorry." He blurted out, ducking his head to peer at Hetty through his hair.

Callen rolled his eyes behind Hetty. Such the good-two-shoes, his face said. Hetty gave Deeks an unreadable look and then continued up the path. Deeks heaved a quiet sigh and followed, a few paces behind. They gathered on the front stoop while Hetty unlocked the heavy door. A light flickered from the den, a room in the middle of the building and therefore lacking windows, and they walked towards it like moths to the flame. A head was outlined by the light from a large TV screen.

"Mr. Beale." Those were the first words spoken by Hetty since she uttered her command.

The head jumped and the screen quickly changed from a first-person perspective battlefield to flat blue. He stumbled as he crawled to a standing position. "Yes, uh, Hetty," he coughed and cleared his throat.

She reached into a lampshade and pulled on a cord, lighting the room. "Do we need to revisit the conversation of earlier this evening?"

Eric swallowed. "No. I, uh, was just investigating, not playing."

Hetty's unnecessary, unsaid statement hung in the air between them – there was something more important he should have been investigating instead. She raised a brow and he ducked his head apologetically. She eyed him for a moment, then turned to face her other two delinquents of the night. "I was alerted to something today that is of the upmost importance."

Eric received a nod. He busied himself swapping the TV to a different input and pulling up his computer screen. Callen's face appeared.

"Your cover is in a very delicate position." Hetty waved at the picture. "There are whispers that D'Angelo has been cavorting with the Feds."

Deeks leaned over to Callen. "Who's D'Angelo?"

Callen whispered out of the side of his mouth, "Hooked up with the Italians. Been a solid cover."

Deeks planted his fists on his hips. "Wait, so, today we visited a Central Asian crew, drank with…" he swallowed, not wanting to bring up their late-night adventure "and now you're hanging with the Italians? How many gangs are you a part of?" Incredulity crept into his voice.

"Like you don't know people in low places." Callen shot back.

"Sure, but I've never infiltrated both warring crime families _at the same time_." Deeks' face screwed up into a look of horror edged with panic. "Do you have a death wish?"

Callen went to open his mouth but Hetty beat him to it. "That's for the psychologists to decide."

But Callen wasn't going to let that insult pass. "Says the man who's hung out of _more than one_ window above 10 floors."

Eric had a grin sliding across his face, he was happy the focus was off of him.

Hetty turned away from the glaring men and directed Eric to open the folder held on the USB she passed him.

The grin on Eric's face fell away. "Why am I on these pictures? Where are they from? Who took them?" The words tumbled from his mouth.

"Uh oh." Callen realized he was good and caught. "This isn't good."

"No, Mr. Callen, it certainly isn't."

"Huh. Guess you two are moving." Deeks harrumphed as Callen bounced his palm off of his forehead.

"Guys, what's going on?" Eric looked at the others in the room with a bit of panic.

"We can fix this, don't worry." Callen moved around the chair to clap a hand on Eric's shoulder. "You go get some sleep, we'll let you know in the morning."

Eric started to walk with Callen's prodding. "Are you sure? Shouldn't I know? What did Deeks mean about moving?"

Deeks put a hand on his other shoulder. "Ignore me, I'm just tired and making bad jokes. The mattresses are really comfortable here and it would be a waste for you to miss out on them."

"O…kay." Eric didn't resist them and headed down the hallway.

When Callen heard a bedroom door shut, he turned to Hetty, "I have a plan."

Hetty's stare bore holes in Callen. "How about you start explaining and I'll decide whether you have a plan or a cockamamie scheme."

Deeks dropped down into a chair, a poof of dust erupting from the seat. "This is going to take a while, do we have any good snacks?"


	8. Aaron

**Errand Day**

 **Disclaimer:** Borrowing and still.

 **A/N:** Thanks to OhBuddy66, anonkp, Astrida, Guest (Bonjour et merci!), jmlane1966, knirbenrots, GrayLady117, The Ghostly Horse, emceejay, wotumba1, Guest, sassyzazzi, judysam936, Kittykatkins, Mei2, and Kittykatkins Part II for the reviews! They warm my hands and motivate them to type more.

* * *

 _Aaron_

Eric fiddled with the tray sitting on the display case of jewelry. He tried not to think about the various 'what if's' his brain had been dreaming up since Hetty told him the plan.

What if someone came in and asked to see a piece? What if they actually wanted to buy said piece? What if someone asked him questions? What if the store was robbed...and not by Deeks as prearranged?

He shook his head, trying to clear those thoughts. It wasn't working so he was relieved when his phone rang.

"How's it going?" Nell's soothing voice took a bit of the edge off.

"Not great." Eric sighed. "I still don't know why I was picked for this."

"You'll do fine. It's no big deal – just act scared when Deeks pulls the gun and do whatever he tells you to."

Eric grumbled. "No acting required there."

"Just remember, the camera he's wearing is a live feed so make sure you don't break character. He has to keep it running from when he enters to the store until he leaves."

"As long as I don't get shot."

"Deeks won't shoot you as long as he doesn't have to." Nell was sounding a bit exasperated. "Remember to hit the alarm near the end. There has to be a legitimate police report for this to work."

"I know." Eric was getting a bit annoyed as well. "I have to go, I'm not supposed to be talking on my phone at work." He ended the call and tucked it away. He folded his hands together as he tried to not appear nervous while waiting.

Eric had taken to counting the diamonds on the rings and wasn't even paying attention when Deeks came through the door.

"Hey." A low growl came from in front of him.

Eric raised his head and gaped in surprise at the man in front of him. He had his hood pulled over his head and a ski mask over his face so only his eyes were showing. The dark shape in his hand suddenly became a gun as Eric's eyes focused. "Woah!" He squeaked as he through his hands in the air.

"I know there's money stashed in that safe, so don't bother denying it. Get it now." The voice was gravelly with no emotion.

"O…o…okay." Eric stuttered as he shifted towards the safe in the corner. A part of his brain knew that this was all an act and he was completely safe, but that was not the part that was running his body at this point. His hands shook as he punched in the code on the keypad to unlock it. He hopped from foot to foot, shifting his weight as the time ticked by.

"Hurry up!" That directive was accompanied by a hard object shoved into his neck. He frantically imagined it was a stapler.

"It's verifying the code. Just a few more minutes."

"Minutes?"

"Moments. Seconds. Jiffies, Instants." The words tumbled out of his mouth. A loud clank sounded and his shoulders sank in relief. "There, it's open. Here it is." Eric started shoveling the bundles of cash into the bag that appeared beside him. "That's all there is."

"You're going to count to twenty very slowly before you think about turning around. The idea of being a hero is a bad one that won't end well for you."

Eric nodded almost violently. His hands curled as they hung in the air and he started to count.

The door closed around 'five' but he couldn't move. At twenty he carefully turned and was greeted by a store empty of people. On shaky legs, he walked towards the register where he pressed the alarm button that would signal to the police an emergency.

The cop car pulled up along the curb as Eric's heartbeat was returning to normal. Two police officers came through the door and walked straight to him.

"We got a call about emergency."

"Yes, uh, the store was just robbed." Eric pointed at the safe with the door still hanging open. "A man came in with a gun and forced me to empty the safe."

One officer pulled out a notepad while the other stepped back to make a phone call. The one with the pen asked a few questions and then told Eric to sit down and wait for the detective.

The detective obviously wasn't too far away as he came quickly. He walked Eric through the chain of events. When he asked what the robber looked like, Eric blanked.

"He was wearing dark clothes and a mask."

"Can you remember anything else?"

Eric squinted. "He had blue eyes." He lifted a shoulder. "I really don't have anything else to tell you."

The detective looked a tad frustrated. "Your name?"

"Er…ron. Aaron. With an 'a' not an 'e' because that's a girl's name and I'm…not." A small, quick smile flew across Eric's lips as he tried to cover up his hard swallow.

"Okay Aaron. What's your last name?"

"Matkov." Eric spit out his alias's name quickly.

This seemed to be acceptable and the detective carried on with a few more questions. Eric's answers grew smoother as he gained some more confidence and distance from the robbery. One of the patrol officers appeared from the back and told the detective that the surveillance wouldn't be much help. He replied with an annoyed shake of his head.

"You can leave. I'll contact you if I have further questions."

Eric shook his hand and went to leave.

"There's a lady waiting for you outside. Said she's your aunt." A crime scene tech mentioned to him as he tried to walk around her as she dusted for fingerprints that wouldn't be there. Eric said his thanks as he went through the propped open door.

"Well done Aaron." Hetty greeted him softly as he stepped onto the sidewalk. "I brought you a jacket as the sun's going down and there's a bit of a chill in the air.

"Nice coat." Eric admired the soft fabric as he pulled it on.

"Your car is around the corner. Here are the keys." She pointed in the direction and handed him the keys. "I'll expect a few report tomorrow."

Eric nodded, slightly relieved to not have to go back to the office after the experience he just had. He turned and walked around the corner. He was squinting down the sidewalk, looking for the car when heard the sound of metal sliding on metal. The next thing he knew, hands grabbed his arms and he was airborne. The wind was sucked right out of his lungs and a soundless scream came from his mouth.

He landed in a heap and a quick glance told him he was on the hard floor of a van. Squealing of tires provided the soundtrack as he flew against a wall while the van rocketed out of its parking spot. Sharp turns kept him unbalanced and when the brakes locked and it finally stopped, he was disorientated by the lack of motion.

A light blinked on in his face and he could barely make out two heads behind it.

"What division do you work with at the FBI?" The shout bounced against the sides of the van and hurt his ears.

"I don't work at the FBI." Eric's eyes moved rapidly, trying to find something familiar to focus on.

"Where do you work?" The voice reverberated again.

"At…at…" Eric mouth popped open and closed as his brain tried to catch up. "At that jewellery store. It was just robbed. I was just robbed." He latched on to the character he was just playing and held on tight.

"Have you ever been employed by the FBI?" The question came at a slightly lower volume.

He could answer that honestly. "No! I've never worked for them. Just selling necklaces and bracelets and rings and watches." He blinked at the sharpness of the light which jerked slightly as the two heads had a quiet conversation. Eric let his arms shift downwards as he weighed the potential of him fighting his way out. He was not confident.

One of them shouted some sort of code to the driver and the van took off. Eric slammed against the side wall and felt his stomach heave at the wild ride. Just when he thought he wouldn't be able to stop what came out on the next turn, the van screeched to a halt.

"Get out." The voice ordered.

"What?" Eric blinked. "Here?"

"Unless you want to stay." Humour edged the harshly thrown statement.

"Nope, here's good." Eric crawled over to the door and fumbled around, finally grasping the handle and throwing the door open. As soon as his feet hit the pavement, the van took off. He leaned over, grasping his knees for support and hauled in some deep breaths. He spotted a bench out of the corner of his eye and moved to it on shaking legs, sinking down onto one end. The tension of the back-to-back events started to seep out of his muscles while he sat. Looking around once his heart had reached a semi-normal pace told him that he wasn't far from where he started. Out of curiosity he pulled out the keys that Hetty had given him and pushed the alarm button. A car a few lightposts away blinked its lights and honked. He pressed the button again to stop them. A quick look either way down the street showed no people so he stood and loped over to the car. Sliding in the driver's seat and locking the doors gave him a feeling of safety. Not knowing what Hetty would say about his experience, he took a chance and drove straight home. Double-checking the locks on all doors and windows as well as jamming a chair under the door handle left him a bit more confident. Sleep came quickly.


	9. The Janitor

**Errand Day**

 **Disclaimer:** Still 2 borrowing.  
 **A/N:** Thank you (1) for your patience. The stars finally aligned and free time + laptop + wifi all came together at the same time. (2) to jmlane1966, The Ghostly Horse, wotumba1, fanficforyou, sassy zazzi, Astrida, Guest, knirbenrots, OhBuddy66, meraveps, Kittykatkins, Hoosier65, happyherb18 and Dramamama5 for the reviews. I hope you all find this a fitting end.

* * *

 _The Janitor_

"What now?" Callen eyed the man splayed out in the back of the van.

He shrugged, "I guess Timmy the Snitch was wrong."

"How often is he right?" Callen shifted, a piece of metal pushing into his back.

Another shrug. "If he was a baseball player, it'd be amazing. If he was a weather man, people would hate him." He pushed himself up. "Sorry, D'Angelo. But you know we have to check these things. When the boss saw that pictures of the two of you together and Timmy was making his case that you were chumming around with the FBI, it was tense."

"Thanks for letting me come." Callen held out his hand.

The man gripped it and gave a solid shake. "I understand your reasoning. Would've been awkward if we'd offed your neighbour's boyfriend."

"I still can't believe Timmy thought that he was a fed. Seriously, I can't imagine that guy being in any sort of stressful situation."

That produced a laugh. "I'll see you around D'Angelo. Try to stay away from jewellers with justice on their minds." With that he hopped out of the van and disappeared into the darkening day.

The engine rumbled to life and it moved the vehicle through the streets to a nearby abandoned parking lot. The van eased into the shadow of the neighbouring building and the engine cut out. Callen climbed from the back into the passenger seat. "One down."

Deeks pulled off his toque. "Let's review. You as D'Angelo, a mobbed-up henchman, get caught on camera hanging out with Eric at the beachfront. Timmy the unreliable Snitch fingers Eric as FBI. The bosses get antsy about their seemingly trustworthy employee's associates. Their solution was to kidnap the supposed-agent, scare the pants off of him, and then ask whether or not he's working for the cops."

Callen nodded. "Sounds right."

"Then I have questions." Deeks ticked them off on his fingers. "One, if Timmy isn't that great, how is he still snitching? Two, does this snatch-and-grab-and-interrogate method actually work? Three, don't they have moles for this? Four, why wasn't I invited on this little beach excursion?"

"One, Timmy's a cab driver so he's all over the city and his uncle is one of their top guys. I think he may be snitching both ways because I think the cops have been feeding him intel to pass on." Callen grinned, successful snitching was an art form and Timmy had it perfected. "Two, it works more than you think. Scared people are less likely to be able to form a lie. Three, if they used a mole to fact-check everything Timmy brought them, they'd need a full-time guy."

"And?" Deeks raised his brows.

"What?" Callen feigned ignorance.

"My invitation lost in the mail?"

"Why would we invite you?"

Deeks looked at him like he'd lost his mind. "It was the beach."

Callen held back his smile. "Noted. I'll remember that next time."

Narrowed eyes stared at him and Callen resisted the urge to squirm. After a long moment Deeks turned away, extracted himself from the driver seat, and climbed into the back. "Next one?"

Callen slipped into the driver's seat and cranked the key; Eric may be finished for the day, but they wouldn't be following his lead quite yet.

* * *

Deeks clapped a hand on the shoulder of the Internal Affairs sergeant overseeing the sting operation. He walked back to where Callen was leaning against the van while picking at his fingernail. The plan was solid, but somehow he still had reservations about it. He needed to work them out before walking through the door and Callen's relaxed posture was something he was envying.

"You're nervous." Callen didn't lift his head when Callen settled against the van beside him.

"No…maybe." Deeks heaved a sigh.

"Plan's good."

"Is it?" Deeks hissed under his breath. "This guy, he's got a history of crossing the line, and not the way we mosey over it. He put a guy in the hospital once. The worst part was he got it spun into self-defence thanks to his connections."

"Are you worried about something going wrong during the raid? You have the script down." Callen still didn't move.

"Nah, it's easy." Deeks shifted. "What about after? If he figures out I'm a cop then what could come down from above? I'm not sure I want more heat."

"There's always NCIS."

"I'm not running away from a fight." Deeks ground out.

Callen grunted. "I'll make sure you slam into that desk nice and hard right beside him." He flicked his fingers. "Isn't that why you picked this particular IA?"

Deeks narrowed his eyes at the woman who was running through the last bit of paperwork before she gave the signal to move. She was legendary as untouchable; her call sign was 'Teflon'. Anyone who had her assigned to their case were either extremely grateful or terrified because she was guaranteed to find the truth and couldn't be swayed by any means – especially illegal ones. He straightened as she marched their way.

She handed a small folded piece of paper to Deeks and waited as Deeks tucked it under his insole. "I've done some cursory investigation and you've handed me about a year's worth of work. Good thing I just had two more people assigned to my division. Let's get this done." She headed back to her van and climbed in the back.

Callen raised a brow at Deeks and looked down at his shoe. Deeks quirked a corner of his mouth up, "It's a get-out-of-jail card in case somebody tries to sabotage her raid. It says I'm her informant and to release me immediately." He grunted and jerked his head towards the van. Callen smacked his shoulder and then sauntered over to the IA vehicle. Deeks climbed into the driver's seat and turned over the engine. He took a deep breath and then pointed the van towards his rendezvous point.

* * *

Callen rubbed his thumb and finger together as he listened to the feed from Deeks' wire. He was following the script as planned and if it continued to go well, they would get the signal to storm the meet momentarily. Callen had borrowed a LAPD vest and was wearing a baseball cap low over his eyes to protect his identity from their target. It was a short list of police officers connected to NCIS and they didn't need to give him a thread to pull at.

 _"I told you – I own you now. You'll do what I tell you to do when I tell you."_

 _"Is this how it's gonna be? Hold-ups and intimidation?"_ Deeks' rumbled over the comms, Callen could tell he was channeling his anger somewhere deep and holding on to the control was deepening his voice.

 _"I've seen your rap sheet. Robbing that jewellery store was nothing new for you."_

His foot tapping, Callen watched the woman holding Deeks' future in her hands. Her eyebrows were drawn together in concentration; she didn't move even though they were almost there.

 _"Well, I knew those other jobs inside and out, I didn't know what I was stepping into today."_

 _"Relax, when I give you a job it's because it's been checked out."_

 _"I'd just feel more comfortable if I knew how this worked."_ There was a pause and Callen felt a bit of sweat break out on his forehead. _"The whole point of going straight is so that I don't go back to jail."_

A pen started to rapidly click beside Callen. The whole van held their breath.

 _"Look. I'll make you a deal. You drop that bozo that followed you to your last appointment and I'll explain the process to you."_

Callen squeezed his hand into a fist. Deeks had a delicate situation. Push too soft and they walk away from this bust empty-handed. Push too hard and an opportunity is wasted.

Deeks made a hacking sound that could've been laughter. _"Well, this guy has a real soft side for reforming criminals. Promised to get me a job, maybe an apartment. All because he 'believes in me' and my recovery."_ Scorn seeped from his words. _"I'd need a good reason to walk away from that opportunity."_

The silence pounded through the metal vehicle while their target made his decision. A name came over the wire and one of the IA underlings jerked upright in surprise. _"You know him? Well, he cases the joints. I find the talent. He takes a cut and I take a cut. The more motivated you are to perform, the better you do."_

The underling leaned over to his boss and whispered something. She nodded and cleared her throat. "Be ready to move. The partner's confirmed and we have what we need. Just waiting for a signal."

 _"What's my cut from today?"_

 _"Slow down cowboy. This was your audition. Good news is you got the part."_

 _"Gnarly."_

"Move in!" The back door of the van opened smoothly and the four officers quickly and quietly moved through the darkened storefront to the back room. They blew through the door, interrupting the conversation that had turned to the LA Clippers' latest winning streak. Callen hauled Deeks out of his chair and pounded him into the desk. The target's head landed inches away from Deeks' as the officer encased his wrists in cuffs. Callen followed suit while the IA sergeant read them their rights. They all walked out to the waiting squad cars where Deeks went in one while it was loudly proclaimed the former parole officer would be taken to a different location where he would be protected from the criminals he once oversaw. The officer driving Callen and Deeks waited until they were the last car present and then dropped them off at their van.

Deeks, with cuffs removed, climbed into the passenger seat and tiredly sighed. "Home, Jeeves."

Callen grinned as he started the engine. "Could agree with you more.

* * *

Deeks pulled the heavy door open the next morning and let Callen through first. "Y'know, that was a lot of fun."

A corner of Callen's mouth pulled upwards. "Normally errands aren't quite so…entertaining."

"Eventful."

"Intricate."

"Long-lasting."

"Productive."

"Agreed." Deeks said as they came out of the hallway. "Next time, I have this alias Neil that owns part of a pizza joint. It's a front for a money laundering operation set up for a long con, but nobody's been interesting in pursuing it since we don't know the end game yet."

Callen stopped. "One, how did your alias buy into a restaurant? Two, what's it called? Three, how is this the first I've heard of it?"

Deeks smirked, "He won it in a poker game and its extremely creative name is 'Pizza Joint'. Never really done much with it except for a pizza I mailed to a buddy of mine." He took a step but Callen grabbed his arm to stop him.

"And?" Callen's brows went up.

"What?"

"My invitation get lost in the mail?"

Deeks held his hands up. "I still have some secrets." He added a sly grin to which Callen rolled his eyes. They walked to their desks where they stopped short.

"What. Is. That." Callen recoiled in horror.

"Make it go away!" Deeks took a step back.

Hetty appeared in front of them. "That" she gestured to the foot-high stack of file folders perched on each of their desks "is the paperwork you generated when you gallivanted off your day of fun."

"There's no way…that can't be...why?" Deeks pouted.

"Hetty, we just…" Callen lifted a shoulder.

"No, no, no. You two created these messes, now you clean them up. I expect full and complete reports." She turned away.

Deeks' face lit up, "But most of mine were LAPD covers."

"You'll find the appropriate forms within the stack." She called over her shoulder.

"Drat." Deeks' shoulders dropped. "Fun-sucker," he muttered under his breath.

"I heard that, Mr. Deeks. You have two days." Hetty's voice drifted from her desk. Groans met her deadline.

Before they trudged to their desks, Deeks tapped Callen on the shoulder. "We're still doing this again, right?" Hope flared in his eyes.

"Oh yeah," Callen paused. "But we'll have to come up with a plan to skip all of this."

"Actually getting arrested could do the trick." Deeks huffed. Callen started a slow grin and Deeks eyes widened. "No! Forget I said that! I am not sitting through that lecture."

Callen looped an arm around Deeks' neck and steered him towards the coffee pot. "Tell me more about this pizza place."

 _Fin_

* * *

 **A/N:** The saga of the pizza place pops up in a NCIS:LA/NCIS:NO crossover called "Come What May".


End file.
